Emotion Work and Sex Work

Emotional work is done by both men and women to keep a relationship survivng. Women make “defensive use of sexual beauty and charm and make a resource out of feeling and offering it to men as a gift in return for the more material resources they lack.” For women, being becomes a way of doing and acting is a necessary skill. Men are seen as being more rarely called upon to do emotional work and roles consist of looking tough and being in control. Women are usually described as nurturing, caring, and emotional. They are “supposed to make men feel good” by smiling and faking orgasms. Women’s behavior appears to fit the Stepford wife stereotype, yet it also shows the basic difficultly in researching and describing emotional work. Men tend to worry about work-related problems, but keep much of this away from wives to keep them from worrying about these issues. Men expect their wives to do certain emotional work and when they don’t men are doing work by trying not show his resentment. Much of men’s “work” deals with coping being the breadwinner. Most of their emotional work is on themselves. It is common for couples to “deep act” in relationship. But this is not authentic, yet becomes the way of the rest of the relationship. Couples tend to conform to gender stereotypes of “stepford wives” and “hollow men.” There has been a tendency to take at face value the implications of the phrase emotion work and there has been too little research on how individuals feel about the emotional work they do (especially whether they find it rewarding).
Sex in heterosexual couples is essentially a form of alienated work. Men typically dominate this field but second-wave feminism urged women to become sexual subjects and take initiative. In a study it was found that the goal of heterosexual sex had become the mutual orgasm. Marriage seems to change couple’s sex lives, leading to long-term decline in sexual activity. As this happens, couples tend to develop informal strategies and routines which indicated and regulated sexual availability. Children and work are two major factors in the decline of sexual activity. There is little time and energy left after dealing with both everyday. To overcome boredom or sexual difficulties, some couples experimented with the use of pornography, or changes in sexual techniques and masturbation. Sometimes couples resort to celibacy, but most of the time one partner is dissatisfied since only one partner wanted to give up sex. In some long-term relationships, brick walls are crated as communication decreases and resentment increases.
Prostitution has been traditionally seen as immoral and in need of reform and punishment. Pro-sex feminists have opposed the criminalization of it and want it legalized. According to radical feminists, prostitution is abuse of sex and repressed. Modest feminist believe sexuality is the root of gender inequality and sexual objectification is the key to women’s subjection. Therefore, prostitution is “an inherently asymmetrical” institution. In modern patriarchy prostitution is the sale of a female body for a man’s use. Pro-sex feminism defends prostitution as economic empowerment and an expression of freedom. Some of the negatives of sexual work include coercion by pimps or boyfriends, vulnerability at the hands of violent customers, police officers and criminal justice system, and economic and drug-induced desperation. On the other hand, wages allow a unique degree of economic freedom. Some are even able to assert a degree of control over their sexuality and provide a relatively meaningful consent. Different meanings are tied to different version of the prostitution contract. There are different types of sexual work performed by different types of people for different types of people and different reasons. Sometimes it can be seen as empowering and liberating while other times it is seen as desperate and degrading.
Middle class work has been facilitated by new technologies and sexual exchange. Economic reasons seem to be very relevant in explaining middle class sex workers’ erotic and professional decision-making. Middle class women in postindustrial economies are much more likely to find themselves working in the lowest remunerated jobs compared to middle-class men. During the technology boom women only made up 28% of the IT industry. Lap dancing was sometimes a more reliable source of revenue. Women also went from low-end service work into sexual labor. Individuals who pertain to the new petite bourgeois class fraction are likely to settle into subordinated spaces within the institutions of cultural production and eye change. They seek occupational and personal salvation via an ethic of “fun.” The new petite bourgeoisie regards fun, pleasure, and freedom as ethical ideals worthy of strenuous pursuit. The internet has enabled sexual commerce to thrive not only by increasing clients’ access to information but also by facilitating community and camaraderie amongst individuals who might otherwise be perceived (and perceive themselves) as engaging in discreditable activity. Cultural capital also helped many middle-class women get certain jobs and work experience necessary of sexual labor. These conditions include a technologically driven, postindustrial economy that has rapidly driven up the cost of living in desirable urban centers, while at the same time creating a highly stratified occupational sector. These economic developments are intricately connected to some of the ways that increasing numbers of young, urban middle-class people are restructuring their intimate lives – either by delaying marriage and childbearing until these are more economically viable options, or by defying the expectations of heterosexual monogamy entirely.
In long-term relationships, emotion and sex work seems to be more common. Often this is due to trying to keep the relationship content, along with keeping the relationship going. This “work” seems to be not considered work but is done voluntarily and happily in the beginning of a relationship. As time passes, sex tends to decrease, and therefore sex work increases. Emotional work also increases trying to keep your partner happy. Women tend to ignore their own emotional needs and sacrifice them while doing emotional work. When a man comes home from work, a women often ignores her own emotional needs in order to make sure her man is content. This could include not bothering him with your problems, quieting the kids and keeping them from bothering him, or having a clean house with dinner on the table with him. Many women feel the pressure to provide this type of environment. I feel like women do a significantly more amount of emotional work.
Even though one can make very good money through prostitution, I still find it degrading to oneself. I don’t agree with the argument that it is empowering. It can be very dangerous and unhealthy. Most women go into the field through desperation and end up staying in it. I do agree with the fact that there is a huge stigma with women sleeping with multiple men, yet men are “allowed” to sleep with any amounts of women. There are several names for these types of women such as slut and whore, yet men are rarely coined with these names.