The absent Black father epitomized the male component of family breakdown due to absent fathers. Many people tend to racialize the idea of fatherless towards Blacks. They have become the symbol of fatherlessness, even though this problem occurs in other races as well. This brands fatherlessness as a depraved condition, and offers a convenient explanation for Black people’s problems. For Black families, a female-headed household is more dominant than the nuclear-family model due to high rates of unwed mothers. There has been a negative connotation towards Black fathers for a while, ranging from them not having any positive effect on their children, to not being suitable mentors. There are a few societal forces that help discourage Black men’s family participation. Black single-mothers receive welfare benefits when they bare a child out of wedlock. The effects of racial repression such as high rates of unemployment and incarceration also help contribute to Black fathers’ absence. AFDC is likely to be paid to mothers, particularly Black mothers never married. The issue is not with a father not being nurturing or emotionally involved, but rather the expectation of marrying and remaining married to the mother. His economical and marital status is what is condemned. But, because marital breakdown is unlikely to be the cause of Black children’s poverty, marriage is unlikely to be the solution. In fact, it is racial inequality, not fatherlessness, that is leading to Black children’s’ deprivation. But the United States fails at constructing a system to help these people. Instead, they put blame on Black fathers, claiming it is the fault of their own bad habits, and not from unequal social structure.
A new style of parenting has started to emerge in which parents alternate work shifts in order to take care of the children. This is predominating in blue-collar families with dual-earning couples. While mothers are working, fathers are home acting as “Mr. Moms” since they do motherly work but are not mothers. Over 10 million workers in the US work evening, night, or rotating shift while the other parent works a noonday shift. This allows for parental caretaking. Despite the fact that some fathers in this system don’t do as much as the mothers at home, they spend on average 28.5 hours a week in solo care of their children. They usually work the early and night shift at home, putting the children to bed. Money is the main reason for dual-parenting. It is a lot cheaper to take care of your children yourself. Others mentioned the idea that children should only be cared for by family. The system of shift working between parents may be good for the children, but causes hardships in the relationship of the parents. They sacrifice their own relationship and time together in order to be with their children. This can cause tension between the family. In most families, the man in an alternation-shift family is still recognized as the breadwinner. Sometimes he had to work as many as double the hours in order to earn more than his wife. His job was usually put ahead of hers too. In contrast, the mother is still seen as the number-one parent. They tailor their work life so they can be with the children at times they define as key times. They also claim that they are still the center of emotional life in the family and that they should be.
There has been observation of change and lack there of in men’s lives regarding family. The decline of the male as primary breadwinner is the most apparent aspect of change. This is no longer the predominate household model. Only about a third of Americans still depend solely or primarily on a male breadwinner. This has led to many men searching for other ways to show manhood and masculinity. Men’s participation in family involvement has not risen proportionally to women’s involvement in paid work. Men are also resisting marriage more and living on their own. A gender gap in domestic work exits, but men’s domestic participation has increase slowly. Men, in general, have increased help in child-rearing by spending more time with children. Some of men show resistance to equality in the family, while others are turning away from the family altogether. Even if a man doesn’t help out equally in the home, more and more are feeling they should be.
The decline of the male breadwinner model has caused confusion and discomfort, calling into question beliefs regarding manhood and masculinity. In the past, economic comfort coincided with being a “man.” Today, it is harder for men to justify their power as new relationships form in the home with women and children. They are now considered in some theories to be in “no man’s land.” Men are participating more in child-rearing, especially after a second marriage. Childhood has played a large role in the way men turn out. How they evaluate, respond and resolve conflicts established in childhood depends on experiences encountered later in life. As a whole, men are starting to reject work achievements and find more gratification in relationships with nurture and intimacy. The word “masculine” typically has been associated with independence, rationality, and aggression. A new vision of manhood has emerged focusing on interdependence and emotional openness. It rejects the views that manhood is the opposite of womanhood. Male dominance is still prevalent. This ties in with patriarch, which focuses on how institutional arrangements bestow power and privilege on men and how they behave as a group to perpetuate these advantages. The workplace allows for males to avoid domestic work. Men also have social political and economic advantages just because they are men. But changes are seen in the recent years in favor of women’s rights, employment opportunities, and women’s independence. Men’s dominance is now being challenge. Over the last several decades, men have seen economic security and entitlements decrease. The job market has changed along with wages. Committed employment among women has also risen. They are going into many managerial positions once dominated by men. This has allowed mens freedom to not feel economically responsible for a woman, and also gives a woman more leverage in a relationship. There is also a rise of alternatives to permanent marriage. Partnerships, divorce, remarriage, cohabitation outside marriage, and permanent singlehood have all grown in popularity. Men have been freed from the obligation to maintain a lifelong economic and emotional commitment to one woman, and women have more discretion about marriage as well. This has caused a bigger distinction between marriage and parenting. It is more common to be a parent, yet not be married. Some men have retained patriarchal control in traditional households while others haven’t.
I feel as if the model of “Mr. Mom” is becoming very common and more accepted throughout society today. Media has made light of this term in hit songs and tv shows. There is a country song by LoneStar called “Mr. Mom” in which the dad loses his job and therefore the mother goes to work while the dad stays home. He thinks it is going to be fun and easy doing nothing but comes to realize the job entails more than he imagine. He ends up wanting to go back to work in the end because being the role of mom is a lot harder than he originally thought. In the popular show “Desperate Housewives” one of the characters ends up being a “stay-at-home dad” because he loses his job, forcing his wife to go back to work. In both forms of media, the idea of men helping out more in the home, so much so they act like the mom is seen positively. In the past, this might be looked down upon and a man would not be considered masculine.
The model of the dual-shift parenting system is one that I have personally witnessed. I know a few families personally that operate this way. One family does this because they are not able to afford any other form of child-care. The mother, as with most, works in the evenings until midnight while the father works in the early morning until the evening. They seem to split tasks pretty equally. The children are very attached to both parents, especially the father. I believe this system really helps establish a good relationship between children and their father since he has to be a lot more involved. Another family I know which operates through a version of the dual-shift system does it not for financial reason but because they don’t want to put their children in day-care systems. They are firm believers of raising your own children and instilling your own values into them yourself. The mother is a nurse so she only works 3 days of the week to begin with. But when she does work, she either schedules weekends, (when her husband can take care of the children) or during the night shift (where the husband is also home).